Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Visitor

He dusted off the old rocking chair
& asked me to have a seat
He'd tell me what he was doing there
If I'd simply take a load off my feet

I found this gesture laughable
I would rather stand!
Then listen to another word
Uttered by this despicable Man! 

But His confidence eluded Him
He knew I would protest
& yet I saw Him conceal a grin
At the denial of His request! 

At this point, I couldn't even move
I could barely breathe
He acknowledged my discomfort, said,
"Very well" & took the seat!

As He sat there callously,
Scoping out the room
He said He just could not believe
The daffodils won't bloom!

This absurdity helped catch my breath
I quickly snapped to interject,
"Fuck the flowers! Fuck this place!"
& turned to flee with great hast!

This made Him chortle with much glee
He barked, "Silly, girl, you cannot leave! I know you've known this all along, The Cottage is [to] where your Soul belongs!" 

I felt so angry I could cry
I hit my knees & pleaded: "WHY?!
I kicked You out so long ago! Don't speak to me as if You know!"

& this is where the story twists:
He dropped His grin & stood up quick
Now, controlled by His brown eyes
Forced to hear His every lie:

"I know that we have been apart, But that's no excuse to neglect your heart, & that is why I'm here again, to protect you from yourself, My friend..."

& that's the moment I lost my mind
To hear Him call me "friend"
As if His love, I could deny!
(So, instead, I was forced to pretend)

But He already knew my tricks
We played this game before
All this time Our stubbornness
Is the very quality We adored! 

So, while He tried to lecture me
I quickly stoked a match
I had laced The Cottage previously
& dropped it on a kerosine-soaked mat! 

& as I laughed maniacally
at the seconds we had left
To my surprise He grinned idly
As We slowly burned to death...

Adamant

I have contemplated long & hard
The many things I shouldn't
Of course, temptations could be barred
In my case, I knew They wouldn't! 
For, I have Loved so many things
In a way that few can grasp
I attach myself obsessively
(As indicated in my past!)
& yet I often stumble on
A twisted-fleeting crux 
Much like the breaking of a dawn
A grand, yet, abrupt influx
It seems that as the seasons change
They only vary in degree
& Just as quick as winter came
It degrades by intensity!
Therefore, be warned to stay away
If you cannot stand the blight! 
You don't get to bask in the light of day
If you can't withstand the night! 


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The rudiments of love are vested deep within the soul. Like the bleeding sands of time, our feelings can't control--An aggregation of desire, filled by many things. The light that fuels our fire, embellishes our surroundings. 

We shut our eyes but cannot sleep, 

we hold our breath, 

clinch our teeth. 

We tremble at the slightest brush, our hearts awaken from this rush! & just when we expected the flame to yield, it torches the entire battlefield! 

This leaves behind a humble scene, of ash, & smoke, & broken dreams... At which point only time can heal, but merely to form another battlefield?

I believe that we were made for more, that pain is something we should endure, that life is more than a half-filled glass, but A powerful teacher of poise & class! & I, for one, will never misplace the advantages of a lost-love fate! 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Woe Is Me

Don't be afraid to break my heart
Stab me in the chest!
Twist the knife, watch me bleed
Make me gag for breath! 

Tie me up, strain me down
Don't ever let me leave
The only way to tame my heart
Is to commit an atrocious deed!  

Don't make it quick, drag it out
Make me struggle, hear me shout! 
Make me beg, make it hurt
Don't be afraid, do your worst! 

Cut off all my fingers & toes
Then dismantle all my limbs
Save all my vital organs
Just to crush them in the end! 

I need a man who is unafraid
To do these nasty things
I need a man who's firm beliefs
Take precedence over me! 

I need a man who understands 
Just how to play the game
For, the only way I can fall in love
Is to feel tremendous pain! 

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I could see right thru the fortress' walls,
I knew what they enclaved
Beaten by an ocean full
of canary-yellow waves
They glistened like the stars reflected
from a moon-lit sky
Scattered like a million diamonds,
it's beauty; mesmerized  
Tho seaweed dark as Forrest green
did fill the ocean floor
Both translucent, & befuddling 
I could only wish to explore
For I have never seen a castle 
rest in a sea of grime 
& with its image now engraved
Forever in my mind! 
& tho it's walls we're callous; thick
I thought it could still work
If only I had persisted 
(Instead, I went berserk...)
But is love not an incendiary?
To those who've gone insane?
& so it's best to resist the urge--
Your heart you must contain!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Cottage

It was definitely winter time as I trotted thru a foot of  snow
My eyes were locked onto the sky, my self-esteem was low
& yet I made it thru the field, where daffodils once swayed
The Cottage laid 100 yards before me in mid-day
It's shutters had all fallen off, & only one remained
It's door was busted, rusted--all swallowed in  decay
& yet I forced my entrance & stood  in disarray 
(The fact of the matter is, I liked it better this way...)
The arms of the rocking chair were worn down to the bone
The pots & pans & tupperware were splashed around the home
At least a home it used to be but that was long ago.... 
It seems it's one-time owner was knocked far from his thrown
The windows were all busted out by rocks that laid the ground
The frost had overtook the place by more than heaps & bounds
It was obvious there'd been no visitors for more than many years
The less than freezing temperatures had made this crystal clear
& as I stood there shivering, thinking of the day
When this sight that laid before me was filled with sun & play
The Cottage was so perfectly constructed in this way
Children had once filled the field where daffodils once swayed
& now I had returned to complete my mission from the start
The plan, unfolding perfectly--The destruction of my heart.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I Will Not Rest

You talk of loneliness so frequent in your speech,
You talk of loneliness as if it's company, you beseech.
You say you search for light & truth
Integrity--it grounds your roots
You rarely talk but when you do,
It's loneliness that torments you?
It occurs to me that you are blind!
I will not rest until you're mine!

 But wait...

Your heart is one I've seen before
So fragile & vacant at its core...
I couldn't live with that bloodshed on my hands
(Yet, that hasn't stopped me with any other man)
But your's is one I will respect
So, from the shadows I will protect!
I'll be your angel in disguise
No one will harm you; They'll be denied!

A saddened day with us apart
Tis better this way--to guard your heart!
You are my God, my Love, One Soul!
Do not fear, my Dear, you're never alone!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Rotating Black Hole

I once was a beautiful neutron star
Gleaming so bright, you could see from afar
But then my star collapsed & died
& an astrophysical object derived...
It shredded my light & vacuumed me in
Never to be seen or heard from again
But as my flames began to ensue
I discovered the entities undeniable truth!
It appeared my light was being reflected from its core
Emitting a feeling I could not ignore
So, I relinquished my fears & spiraled down like a drain
Realizing that space/time can never be changed
Pass the first event horizon was the radius of no return
Where time stand still, lessons are sure to be learned
Because once I reached the tempestuous light
It repulsed me back with an inconvieble might!
I may never see the outside world again
But the grandeur of our love was worth it in the end
& so it must be:
Angular momentum, nonzero; uncharged
Is by far the greatest result of a dying neutron star

Monday, February 27, 2012

Self-mutilation

I think I'd like to pierce a vein
Watch it bleed & feel the pain
I think I'd like that very much
So much more than I lover's touch

A lover's touch is unbeknownst to me
I know I'd rather watch me bleed
Pain is always been a friend of mine
Bc I'm certain it's the end of time

Monday, February 20, 2012

Nonpartisan

I'll tell you what I think today
Of this "soul-creator"
I think that He's a selfish fool
An arrogant dictator!

First, He forces us to live
Outside of our control
Watching as we propagate
The confines of this fishbowl

Then He says to worship Him
Or we all shall be condemned
To blindly kneel before His feet
His word, we must defend?

I tell you that does not remind
Me of a mighty being
For being so omnipotent
He's not very agreeing....

For, the only God I could love
Would never ask me to
He'd never force unto me
Things He, Himself, won't do...

He doesn't have to show His face
He does not seek conviction
He would not leave a mortal trace
No need for crucifixion

Now, I am not an atheist
Their arguments are lacking
But if there really is a God
Wherever He is, He's laughing!

Because no man can know His thoughts
They cannot speak for Him
So, to me, religion's just as lost
For, we all have been forsaken!

Now whether this God does exist
I'm afraid we'll never know
But Whoever created all of this
Did not do it on His own

So, before you believe a man-made God
I'd ask you to think twice
We do not need an eternity
To be appreciative of life!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Way You Lie

The sweetest sound I have ever heard
Was one that most would find quite absurd

It was when I had found myself in a bind
By people who had found themselves undermined....

They asked me right away to relinquish the truth
Something I was simply unable to do!

& just before I admitted defeat
A man yelled out, "it wasn't her, it was me!"

Now, I would NEVER ask one to fall on his sword
But by the way that he lied, I couldn't help but adore....

His demeanor so steady, his voice, not even a squeak!
Such a selfless act followed by a beautiful technique

So, yes, the truth is that I fell in love with a lie
& after all of this, it was love I'd deny...

Rest In Peace

**Dedicated to Ms. Pat James**

As I watch the bright stars pierce thru the night's sky

I find myself a little more than preoccupied...

I think of death, & how to be

A person depleted by their lost identity

Making my death impossible to fear

Despite how much my life is revered...

It's confusing to deny the sanctions of fate

To wish that time could somehow abdicate...

I've died before, it wasn't enough

The result is now my skin is TOO tough

So, in the end My soul has learned this:

Every death is sealed with a kiss...